A good one for The Airline Pilots

 A good one for The Airline Pilots

Retirement Reminder: (from a fellow retiree)

We have a cockpit mock-up in our house. When I mention to my wife that I miss flying by being retired, she puts me in the mock-up around bed time for 8 hours.

She has a chair in a closet, puts on the vacuum cleaner to simulate engine and cockpit air noises, has a dim nite-lite to simulate cockpit lightning, serves luke-warm chicken with cold vegetables on a tray.

When I get sleepy and attempt to doze off, she knocks twice loudly on the door to simulate the F/As entering the cockpit.

Then after 6 hours she turns on a flood light directly in front of me to simulate the sun coming up when approaching 15 West.

I then get a cup of coffee that has been in the coffee maker all night.

Finally she lets me out and I have to get in the back seat of her car while she runs morning errands to simulate the bus ride to the hotel.

When we get home, I tell her I am ready for bed and the bedroom door is locked for an hour to simulate the hotel rooms not being ready.

When I promise to never "complain a about being retired", I am allowed to enjoy my "layover" and go to bed. 

Oh and one more thing she talks loudly to her friends outside the bedroom door to simulate the hotel maids chattering in the hall in the native language.

After two hours of sleep she calls the phone next to the bed with her cell phone and says

"This is Crew Scheduling, we have a reroute for you. Do you have something to write with?"

No, I guess I don't miss it at ALL!